THE SELF DISCOVERY

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I have discovered myself, yes I have, I have spent time to where I shouldn't have spent, l have loved people I shouldn't have loved, I have wasted my time talking to people I shouldn't have talked to.

I have knocked on close doors, yes I have, I had knocked desperately yet no one opened, no one cared to know who was on the door, I have loved truly but I was never loved in return, I was proud of people I shouldn't have been proud of, yes I have, I was very proud of them but they were not proud of me.

 I have done good but they rewarded me with evil. I had helped those I shouldn't have helped.
They told me they like me but it wasn't from Their hearts, they told me they love, but it wasn't from Their hearts either.

Many who would have loved thought I was already taken, to some it was unwise of them to fall for a broke me.  I had wanted someone to talked to, I had wanted someone to share my feelings with, I had wanted someone by my side, someone we can laugh together, someone who will know  everything about me and I will in return know everything about her. 

Yes I had wanted another self, but there was none, nobody was willing to welcome my opinion, nobody was willing to honour my request, there was a time I felt so unwanted, so uncared, so dejected and unloved. It was indeed a tough time, it was as if the word "Love" does not exist but look at me today.

 My life was full of stress, full of anxiety and full of depression all in the name of living to please others.  I never knew someone will fall for me if I live my real self, was a word charlatan the best word to describe who I was then? No! I was not just a charlatan but also a nonentity.

 I almost gave up, but my mind was told not to, that before I should think of giving up,I should take a look at hair in the nose and around anus if despite their environment they can still grow then it means no matter how, I shall get rid of this tough time. 

I never believed that time heals until I gave myself the needed time, that was when myself asked me: " I am always here for you but why are you not sensitive enough to have fallen for me? You Left me for Others, I love you but you do not love in return, Others have vowed not to love you,  you are wasting your precious time pleasing Others". 

That was when I discovered that stress, anxiety and depression are caused when we are living to please others. I am now married to "MYSELF" we are blessed with a bouncing baby boy named "PEN". MYSELF and PEN are always giving me the needed joy.

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